I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
