Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
