I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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