if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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