I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
