oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize