hotel room ftw
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
