How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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