I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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