i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
