she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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