I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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