whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
