11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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