Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
love makes seman taste better
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
