He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
