So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
