I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
