careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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