South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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