Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
