I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
