i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
