I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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