I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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