I cannot find my penis.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Mom said you looked used
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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