I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
