It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
bring money and cleavage
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
