He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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