Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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