As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
