I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
