nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Reggie can tackle my bush.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
