So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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