Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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