I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
