just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
