Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
