Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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