Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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