I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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