We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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