you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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