soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
