There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Holy sore nipples Batman
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