Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
