just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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