i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
