no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
