she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
