Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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