I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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