I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
