Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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