She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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