i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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