i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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