i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
