people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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