I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
